|
Thursday, August 17, 2006
A big bummer on my part now that my dance class--basically my summer is nearly over. :- ( It has been very insightful season, with me volunteering at the library, be able to distinguish that i, keekee, is a very good dancer, and a new light top on my head concerning how men's minds really works (but its not important for you strangers to know). Its like life for me is ending all over again. Life that perhaps i gotten used to. I've loved the weather, the company, and the attentions they've given and that my dear friend, i dont wanna put to memories yet. I wasnt able to spend time with the awesome people at school even though we promise we will however, it doesnt bother me much that i grew so close with these 2 friends. I would rather have 2 than millions of acquiantances. Meeting people along the way was a very interesting experience and would continue that way. We can never meet too many people who'll end up just "nobody's" in the end. Some of us we'll probably not even gonna keep in contact with these afew. It doesnt matter anyway, as long as you tried, a big kudos for you.
"I really dunno", thats the big dillema im having, i dont know what i want, like, love etc I can never answer a straight question, even simple ones, without saying "I dunno". Yes, its true, i dunno what i really want. It takes me forever to decide on small things. Im the kind of person who would like to take her time on things. Rushing me equates being B!tchy, i dont like that. People around me are always rushing, always stressed. I do rush myself on late workpapers but that's a different story from "rushing me"...as in, ME, gets? I could be spontaneous at times by quickly answering questions or doing things without even thinking bout the consequences afterwards. Like today, i messed up again. We had the last program for the teens summer reading and there was this one girl with two younger siblings. I said she couldnt come inside with the two kids, i didnt say, "you cant join us". There's a big difference in the scenario and as always, i got another sermon from Ms. J. She's really nice though cuz she just said "Forget about it." Alright, i'll forget about it but you see, these small things make me wanna think I DO SUCK AFTER ALL. Now you know, IM THE GIRL WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME, GO AHEAD, I'LL DO MY REVENGE AFTERWARDS. right? no. maybe so.
This day was random, bummer out, fun. I love being the goofy one in my teen council. Some people might not think so, but seriously, i do have my funny side some time. It was fun welcoming the kids with Mellisa. That kid will grow up just like me, the one with weird sense of humour, anything will truly makes her laugh. I'll never forget "carwash sign" nor the blank sign we posted for the "warm" welcome. Me asking the room to sing something but ended up saying "sing happy birthday"; me, running away from the spotlight because nobody wanna participate in my lame entertainment provided for the day. Playing sharade with my partner in goofiness, Melissa, drawing the mcdonalds sign and who wouldnt know? how easy right? Yea i guess it was an easy drawing but i painted a smile on those kids face. I love being around kids, lowering my teen level in their own level. Its me who likes working with them but it is also me who hates them for misplacing all the books in the library. Other teen councils wouldnt dare to do what i've done today. Instead of helping me entertaining them, they were standing there, talking god knows what. Thanked god they were, nonetheless, i owned the spotlight, cheya!
to make it short:
1. I dont like people thinking Clyde and I are a couple. We're just close friends, like cherries and apples where if put together doesnt really make any good, how disgusting right? that's what we are, friends..close i hope. XD
2. Rhag, Emman, likes me? I dunno if it was just me but these 2 kept looking at me, fooling around me. But okay, i enjoy their company. i wish they come volunteer often.
3. We're performing a swing number next wednesday. *shrugs*
4. ..................off to bed, really tired and still needs to study for them dancing test tomorrow.
-keeks.
Blast that stereo, LOUD! {12:00 AM}
