| I've always wondered what people are thinking when i talk. Trust me, i'm not a good speaker and when i do talk, i talk nonsense and fast. And so i've come up with thoughts that people MIGHT think when listening to me, gazing through my acne and admiring my butter face and what nots, what the fuck?

*picture me talking about say, a hotdog (or something) and really getting into the subject...

The smart guy's concious mind say:
"Oh yes, yes...but...i'd rather not say anything..." And then he speaks up starting his sentence with "Did you know that..blah blah blah."
-Obviously, such people arent interested on what i have to say. They think hotdogs or any generic subject is lame and out of their league.

The airhead jocktard?
"Gosh, this chic is too smart. What the heck is she saying? Huh? Maybe she wouldnt even notice it if i just run away..." *Dude runs away*
-Uhm, rude!? People like him would rather talk about which party to go to or who deflowered who and of course, again, not interested on what i have to say.

The "Chill" ice cold my ass thinks:
"How lame could this girl get? Who cares about [insert subject here]? I wonder what i should get for lunch: burger or burger?" *keeps his/her cool and smiling* and make an effort to say "Huh?" like they didnt get what you're saying.
-They're the most insulting people out there. They make you seem like you dont know what you're talking about when in fact they're just trying to make you look "uncool".

The drama geek knows how to say the right thing but thinking offly wrong:
He/she's not even listening while he/she quotes Romeo and Juliet lines such as: "Oh Juliet, why did you kill yourself? I thou cannot go under your wonderful embroidered dress. I want babies with you but why thou have to stab oneself with such poisonous substance...I must die now. We might be able to do it in heaven..." on his/her head (more of "his" head...). I bet you all the words i say turns into a bunch of yadda yaddas. Then of course, he'll come up with compliments like "You are the most prettiest thing i've ever seen..." my arse, bitch.
-Seriously, because they do know how to act, they know how to say the right thing as well. Although i wonder if any of the drama people i've encountered have listened to the things i say lately..

Arsty farties? anyone? anyone?
"Ha. What a funny girl. I wonder if she's trying to get some attention or not..." *laughs even though some of the things i'm saying aint "THAT" funny.
-they get me!? I think not..probably almost, most of the time but just like anyone else, i assume they dont listen... :)

Cly-de (and me giving my side of the arguement...)
"Why the heck is she talking about this AGAIN!?? I'm so sick of her little whinies..." then he'll assure me he's not sick of me...liar.

some dude
"La dee da dee daaa. Rudy or Jennifer Aniston's on tv so stfu"
-LOL

Donicaaa
"Girl, you got big toes."
-haha


Then, maybe i'm wrong. But have you ever wondered what other people think when you're talking? Cuz when have my own part of the conversation, i sometimes droop off and think of other things like what kind of car i should get when i'm 20, who i should marry, that Jack Johnson is so damn hot etc etc

Labels: shut-the-nonsense-sss.

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Labels: dramatist, fall out kid, huwhat?

| I was having trouble if i should wear red, dress up really nice and let them guys regret they didnt get me anything, or look nicer than my day-to-day "face" yesterday. And because I proclaimed (and was gonna go to national television too but didnt have the time bleh) I've hated of what's becoming of such holiday, I thought i would look ridiculous with dangling heart earrings and graphic-heart tee though i went on wearing 'em anyway. It was a nice day but i didnt really expect it to be so nice and awesome that i had manage to be a a lot talkative in my Personal Development class and have gotten the Ms. Grinch remark from who else, the ever funny Saraha and Josh.

Seriously, I have the right to be hateful towards anyone who have cared to make it such a big deal. There's nothing wrong with St. Valentine's Birthday, not at all; what i had trouble with is the mere fact that people is making it seriously-commercialize and pathetically big event-ish, making us, those who ARENT followers, look ridiculous and stupid. Everywhere i go, there are bloody, darn, red stuffs: balloons, wilted roses, and zits from overly hormonal teenagers that are, if i didnt know any better, about to elope and get married to their young partners. I was too, trying not to get caught up between those balloon-carrying-passers-by but didnt get the chance to jump off the LA bridge and have possibly ended my life. Oh sure, it was a great joy having all those balloons covering my way, irritating my pretty, bright, optimistic face that could have made everyone's day. I look pretty too but no, no one saw me! The balloons flashed over and took the spotlight away. Balloons. If many people hate clowns, I now hate balloons, RED BIG BOZO BALLOONS. I now have a love-hate relationship with 'em gastric, rubber things. Sheesh.

Despite the fact that no one managed to move any mountains for me or take me in a hot-air balloon ride, I had an awesome time with the lolipops and the sweet little cards that i've accepted with guilt from my friends. And if there's one thing i also enjoyed was THE KISSES, i love kisses, they're creamy, chocolately goodness that makes you feel good during cheap days. I didnt even care if i hated the holiday or not; i went on eatting and sucking so many goodies, i forgot all about the holiday itself. Yea, you could say i was a hypocrite as i already stopped hating VD the middle of the day (or forgot that i hate it haha).

Who could blame me? I mean the unpersonal iloveyous and be mine remarks from my friends were sweet. I also got a card from another friend thanking me for my friendship and how true i am...i know! AWWW. I'm a softy; i gave in like that but it didnt stop me from greeting everyone "Happy Wednesday" or have stopped discussing the lamenest of the holiday with Saraha and Josh in which then they dropped the bomb and called me Ms. Grinch who TRIED to steal Valentine's day. LOL yea, yea, i guess its true considering i was planning to bomb every card companies out there and stop the sharade.

The highlights of the day?
1. Nic & I exchanging looks @ govt.. No big. I looked at him first. He looked at me back. Looked at him again, back. Pretty much how i've flirted all this time, which is so gay. ha. (why yes, dear, i dunno how to talk. :-D)

2. Josh singing the grinch song that goes like:
You're a foul one, Ms. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Ms. Grinch.

I was flattered.

3. I met mari's boyfriend at my Personal Dev. class (at last). Pretty cool lad. He's actually my partner for this career project we have to do for our final grade. Anyway, i just hope i won't end up stealing him away from my "bestfriend". lol

4. Random Act of Kindness Week. I greeted about 5 random, strangers (like the old man near our house) Happy Valentine's yesterday. I was feeling THAT good, not even kidding.

5. Mr. blue M&M funny pictures during my art classe.

(model: saraha's m&m and CD player)



How was your whatyamacallit? Drop it like its hot.

Labels: long keekee memorials of what nots

| "Valentine's is a day of sharing love..." And is another reason for those lucky bitches to ask their pretty pathetic, sad boyfriends for collosal balloons, rare colored-roses, and blinding rocks OR ELSE... Say what? Yes, some of these girls actually threaten their boyfriends they're going to break up mode if they don't get anything nice. While some guys go on trying to figure out what could make their girlfriends happy, half of these awkward-bearing-balls just give up and break up with the girl themselves. After all, it is so much a hassle buying gifts to someone you are not serious about, right? Yes guys, i'm con-valentine (although it would be nice to get something...LOL PLS GET ME SOMETHING, pls. i beg of you. i'll kiss your left foot if you want me to. I'll slave for you... *petty cry here* I'll treat you like a king! *sniff* Sniff*)

What's up with some girls and expecting a little TOO MUCH on Valentine's? While i already asked two of my guy friends that, they've provided me, if not an indirect reponse, just a tad bit sarcastic. Josh said "Why aren't you a girl?" I answered "No, i'm a scrawny he-male. Didnt you know? I grow balls now." As Noello added "ha! arent you a great-looking male, a little too feminine looking perhaps.." And then of course, i agreed; I had me a thick mask that day as i thought i am too, bello. :-P

It seems to me that Valentine's Day is slowly becoming a second Christmas. Not everyone expects gifts this Feb. 14th although the majority of these expecters are of the female kind. You see, guys do not expect roses from other men. They do not compliment each other with their wardrobes and if as much as possible, they rather talk about cars or a ball game most days (or make another gender related issue about anything...) Certainly, some guys hate it when their girfriends nudged too hard about unneccesary gifts during the holidays. In which, i couldnt agree more. I hate how Valentine's Day has become another one of those cliche holidays. The 14th is supposed to be only "love" day but then again, isn't it that we should all love one another everyday? Regardless how things are going with you, your friends and family, the "love" during Valentine's day should not overshadow the shared feelings the rest of the year. And if there is one thing i've learned through out my younger years is that, DO NOT EXPECT GIFTS OR THINGS IN GENERAL, TO HAPPEN. Maybe look forward a little bit but "looking a little too much" would frustrate you in the future.

This Valentine's, we must realize that those people who do not have a girlfriend/boyfriend (like ahem, moi) needs loving too. And we, single people agreed that if we see one, just one couple publicly displaying their affection in front of us, hell will break loose, and there would be blood shed involve. Bloody Valentine, perhaps?

Har dee har NO. Ugh. Another holiday adding to my bitterness. What could i be thinking next? A massacre of those cute little bunnies during Easter?

V-tips:
-Be nice and sweet to one another throughout the day, just not in front of me or i'll yank you. *bats eyelashes*

-Keep her company the whole time or someone better will.

-Pls. do get too kinky; just not in front of me (again).

-Look at other girls/guys. That will do your day.

-Take her to Mcdonalds, give her a candy ring. :-D Teach that bitch that Valentine's not about how expensive your gift is, its the thought that counts. (cheessey)

-Don't share anything the next day. I wouldnt wanna hear how your break up went. Good luck.

Labels: balls, Holifuckingdays, le amour

| Pls. go visit my new "serious works only" deviantart account @:

Boni & Cly_de: Le production


Cly_de created it solely for my photographs and artworks. Still learning though.



Will be writing something relevant maybe tonight. Have to get our school newspaper from a friend. I heard they featured one of my artworks. :-)

Oh and Salamat nga po pala sa lahat ng bago kong readers. promis, susubaybayan ko kayong lahat. :-)

Labels: plugs and thank you note.

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Labels: cooking, shallowness, stupid people

| And so, the weekend after the fall semester gone to waste... Would i miss it? Definitely. Even the uneventful of it all, i'd still miss how i got to sleep until 2 in the afternoon and or that I got to (alas!) pissed my mom again by blaring music in our entire condo. It didnt help that limewire is having an internal error but i had my bro's mp3 player to used as a defense mechanism towards my wonderful mother's mouth. When i settled that my aunts got the worst judgement ever, hearing her bitching on me this weekend (yes! again!) about food and electricity called for another evaluation and really, she is not any better: too "rough", too mean, and too darn stingy. She made a big deal about me listening to music all the time; she even had a problem that i read books at midnight while i could be sleeping and possibly saving some electricity. Riiggghhhtttt. She should be really thankful im not hanging out on some drabby old factory and smoking weed or drinking beer and she should ALSO be thankful i dont engage myself on any whore-like activities with random people. It's funny how shallow her anger could get; dont get me wrong, i get upset on small things too but listening to music? Uhm, NO, just NO. That's just finding a lame ass way to scold me because they cant find anything im delinquent towards...maybe school (& my attitude stank) but surely, listening to music got nothing to do with my performance.

Anyway, like i said i didnt do much. It was a very relaxing and rather warm weekend for me but because i was broke like a hobo, I wasnt driven to do anything 'adventurous'. I was hanging out in my room, feeding myself with the teachings of John Roger and Peter Mcwilliams about who could of thought, achieving dreams, as i terribly listen to John Mayer cheesy songs about city love and mothers loving daughters and fathers as well...eeeek. I went in a coffeechino motion; i'm already done with the big, bottle of store brought mocha that i only started drinking last Monday when i needed something to warm and keep me awake while doing art. I got to breathe fresh air last night as I asked a friend if we could hang out--it wasnt anything easy to do either. I had to begged for him to hang out with me because i was already imagining things: like walls talking and stuff toys running around, circling me (I kid). How incredulously stupid.

We went to see a movie: Night at the Museum wasnt anything LOL but funny nonetheless. It helped that Ben Stiler was starring but i felt like the movie was missing something that could have tied it all up. Weird however that i dont remember that much details from it. I think i was too distracted or rather confused...or i was too pre-occupied looking something deeper from the movie.. Sure he got hired, he found out the secret, tried to quit, went back to work with his kid, found out those other nightwatchers were stealing valuable artifacts from the egyptian exhibit, tried to catch them, and they discoed fucking happily ever after? Funny though. "I want my gum-gum, dum-dum!"

On other things, im changing lifestyle. Dont worry, i go through this every season or so but this spring semester and onwards, im thinking of practicing a bohemian lifestyle. Im artsy so that's not a problem, i am in the brink of poverty so the better, i could learn non-conformity and unconventional way of life, so what the heck, bohemian it is! I've channeled all my will-power and my inner soul agreed. ha. I will promote love, peace and those other loving-sounded terms...We'll see though. Cuz just like anyone else out there, im hardly trusting myself with this one. It takes more than one season to pull-forward a lifestyle, i think. Remember, Im eatting meat again ?? I just think life is all about finding who you are and who you wanna be. That's what im doing here. I try everything and when im comfortable with one, i'll settle and be that person. BUT-WHAT IF? Yes? What if i dont find anything that suits me? SO be it. I'll discover "me" instead.

Question: Do you think you are what you are? That you've already figured out who you are? That there's nothing more of "who you are?" Who are you? Those are the questions.

XOXO,
Boni (aka keeki aka ja-nay-nay)

P.S. To be continued... i have soo much to talk about, so many random things to discuss, i dont even know where to start anymore. I start by starting? eh.





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Certainly, i am now making my whole family proud. Not only am I reading, but took 6 books home today, all in all making my brain worth more than a dollar at least. My family used to make me read when i was younger. They would give me stacks of encyclopedia series while i tried really hard not to droop off and possibly would have gotten sermons about knowledge and "Why cant you be your sister Cathy, blah this, blah that" comparisons. Out of misery from looking at scientific pictures, i've learned ways of pretending and decieving people (or my family) by reciting chemical equations, planet names, and quoting some scientific inventions now and then as i secretly smirked with my accomplishment. I RULED THE GAME and they kept believing i actually learned things from those big-bore books of everything--but just like i am now, science never fascinated me much and completely ruling my world, foreign and undiscovered.

I must say, i was rather sneaky; after everyone was gone, i would run to our library and trade said encyclopedias for some Sunset or interior designing magazines. While kids at the young age of 10 starts reading about Britney Spear's and her "oops I did it again" moments of the day, i was, at some point, different and married myself to the how tos, interiors and exteriors of a house. Those garden issues were absolute delight then. How landscape features were created fascinated me so much, i'd start rearranging plants, digging holes, wrecking everything up around our house. My family love plants and aside from the fact that i was exposed to such magazines, i was also everyone's little gardening helper and I'd loved the responsibility that went along with it.

Anyway, i still abhor books about things that really matters (according to most) "universally" but im learning to actually love the mere peacefulness of reading in a Friday night, lying backwards in my bed, letting Daphne Loves Derby serenades me with their delightful songs about confused "love". I've missed doing just that; ever since i started this little senior sharade of mine, i never get to do anything that screams "lazy-productive" activities. Whether i am out keeping my composure in front of my friends or in my room neglecting homeworks, i just couldnt seem to ignore the world outside my drabby room and just fill me in with threads and threads of literary words, probably, for the most part, would even have trouble understanding.

The fall, windy, semester is over with (yes!!!), i dont wanna think about it although i could definitely say it was the most challenging & dramatic so far as i went from a very "good" student into a, for lack of a better word, bad one. The spirit of New year's resolutionaries got me into promising things i havent started doing or planned thereof. I didnt change right away just like i've promised i would or that i've changed now. Im just glad i dont have to think of finals for at least 5 months; i mean i literally thought not studying for my Math class would do the trick--sure it did for half of the questions but i regret thinking that passing or not, i'd still graduate high school. As for art, I probably deserve my D-umbastic grade. It got nothing to do with my artworks at all, or so i think. My teacher held all those lazy afternoons against and giving me, overall a D in my performance. It aint irking me as i still think i am more than creative enough to have at least 7 strong pieces to get me in an art school. As for physics, did i tell you i was stuck with who i thought the dumbest people in my class but they actually saved my ass?

Enough with school because now that i am off for three days, im thinking of:
1. reading every book Cl-de bought me at the book sale this afternoon
from How to get off our buts to Cheese monkeys & Le boheme art, to Under the tuscan sun (seen the movie but ive always wanted to read the book as i recall someone telling me the original plot had been corrupted in the film) and She's come undone. Should be pretty interesting; cheese monkeys is already making me deliriously happy and inspiring me to write with less cynicism and more of the crap above ^^^. haha

2. Writing an article for LA youth about how a change affected me emotionally & submitting one art piece as well regarding what lights up my life. Any idea? I hate the mere fact that i actually have to use my brain. arrrrh.

3. Finding a job that doesnt involve preppy clothing stores or fast food crap-chains. Then again, i was thinking of applying in Aeropostel. Have i mentioned i stayed in the mall for straight 5 hours last weekend? yea! I went against my "conformity" conviction. bleh.

4. Creating more artworks with pictures and paint. Apparently i found my true calling, MESSY ART! Who could have thought the stiff artist that i've always thought of myself is another picasso by heart? chea!

5. [please insert an activity that doesnt make me think, here]


6. Write more in my blog, tell you all about my relatives, marriage, Oprah's Old lady nude billboards all around California, hot guys, James L Sal P. Long haired hot hot heat lead singer look-alikes, Giorgio Armani's aqua di gio, marco polo, love, how to save a life? mungo sprouts, paint fumes, 99 cent store adventure and all sorts of other thangs. oh and burger king pickles, huge ones.

I eat art, bitchy, and tomato omelet for breakfast. I do have a heart of gold even with my "I say it how it is" attitude. I'm above anything else, crazy: dramatist at times, witty funny and I am every personalities put together. I don't think I am stupid just because it takes me longer to figure or do things. In my free time, I tend to dance in my undies until i fall asleep half-naked. Other than those mentioned, there is nothing more special about me. If there is, it is yet undiscovered. So i came upon a goal: self-discovery or bust, babe.

&hearts music
&hearts art
&hearts writing
&hearts cooking
&hearts photography
&hearts food
&hearts cheese monkeys
&hearts coffee
&hearts hot hot heat
&hearts sunshine
&hearts interiors
&hearts books
&hearts pickle relish
&hearts cinnapretzel
&hearts floors
etc &hearts &hearts &hearts

Alan:Blasted Brains, Coy
Anne:Dysfunctionism.
Arnel:Lover Boy.
Aaron:Strange guy.
Avy:Anguished.
Bam:thegreat.
Catherine:Rawrness.
Carl:Tuesdays.
Dane:Oxymoron.
DC:Alter-ego.
Dhea:Mixed Emotions.
Dotep:Memory.
Elmo:Big bird!
Francess:Spunkified.
Gerome:Basketbolista.
Giselle:Soccer-ism.
Gracie:Pretty.
Henzel:Flyaway.
IT2M
Ituloy angSulong.
Jasmin:rockin.
Jham:summer.
LA:Artworks.
maryjuana:Life.
Mark:makeenetics.
Mark:Secrets.
Miselle:unpromiscuous.
Mishi: Korean jive
Pam:Vanity.
Reyn:Orange world.
Rina:peace&love
Tala:Sarcasm.
Teen Council default.
Tina:life's abundant.
UtakGago:writing genius
Xyla:nurcessist.

designer | kathleen(:
image&brushes | su-e
host | imageshack

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