It is not another three day weekend; this one is different as i now know how it feels like to have a disease, to be sick, to stay in bed the whole day... and to be out tuned with the outside world. For so many things happened to me the past three days and for the uncountless words uttered between awkward arguements and conversations, I'm yet again lost in a pool of doubts and nonsensical thoughts. I lost "me" while trying to find something deep from life's nothingness. The inexistence of drugs, of an accident, of hard-core sickness, and of century passing came to me in a life's rush as if everything is true--as if i was actually doing drugs, have gotten to an accident, and now 20 years older and barely woken up in a deep, unexplained irony.

Yes, i'm sick, colds that is turning into a flu to be more exact while the nyquil i took earlier today "killed" my body and my concious mind. I don't know when i'll get myself out of this "slum" but i will eventually be back in my normal, happy, sarcastic bitterful self again. Maybe soon but not today. If i suddenly die, pls. pray for my poor soul. AND if that's the case, my blog goes to Ate Reyn, my artworks to my friends, particularly the ones who believe in me while in the process, my books get send out to Goodwill, and my $1 cash be given to one of the bums, downtown LA. I think its time that whoever reading this should know i did not live a very rich life but a life of frustrations and unimaginable head-numbing thoughts and questions. I had/have friends and that's all that mattered in 17 years.

But if I do not die, then i'll be back here and you'll have to deal with me some more. Dandy, aint it?