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Dun. dun. dun. UC college applications are now in due processed! After what i went through yesterday and today, with the nail biting frenzy, and the freaking-out-in-between-james blunt songs, i am now lethargic to say "wohoo... (with less enthusiasm than it looks like)" and let myself faint. I cant believe i've reached this point in my life...Who would have thought the cry baby will be doing her own college applications without the help of her smart ass dad (thats a compliment if you must know) or mom...heck yea, that feels good! It feels good to know that i just wasted my time, energy and my mom's credit (ahem, 180$? not bad for one night) into three schools i have the tinniest of chance of getting in. Well, lets just hope that UC santa barbara or San Diego see the brightest of my potential through the sexy pictures i've sent them...who could turn down my california physic, that skinny body, HA! A LOT OF BIG CHANCES, dont you think? Righty-oh, i guess im still the big dreamer that i am. All i do is dream dream dream promise promise and more promises but none gets done and a little predictable perhaps that i'll be moping again when all of the colleges i applied to turn my ass down and say "You're *fired (*on fire?)" like how Donald Trump do it... with the middle finger pointing in my direction. Yes, ma'am, i'll think of my happy, positive place from now on...our bathroom? eeer.

Anyway, our school website had its anniversary today and suprise surprise, it managed to have a million and something page views through out the year. Oh dont worry, we were too, all wowed out because first: we're small school, really small that all the students knows everyone else; second: i think its great but who in their right mind that doesnt go to CP high would wanna look at it? I mean student body news? event pictures? Alright! Alright! We have some pretty neat stuff, from football pics to artworks, we have 'em all stock in there. BUT MILLION VIEWS? Whew, i cant get over it...If it has feelings, he'll be soo happy right now. :-P





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What is it with us dreading weirdness so much? We had our first "winter" rain in California today and people have been cursing that one dude up above ever since. I dunno, it was not like there was a storm shaking their stupid dumb asses, it was a nice, gloomy morning with drizzles...yes it was cold but not enough to freeze us hell over, so what could possibly be the problem?

WE'RE ALL SHEMALES, WE ABHOR COLD. No, that wasnt it; it was that for over 2 months, we havent have any real fall season in California, none with the stupid fall wind causing bad hair days, or those rainy days i still remember it happened way early last year. As time leaves us way behind in everything, literally, the weather is causing some drastic changes as well. It's never the typical fall, winter, spring, summer anymore... Seems like the season keeper has been lagging off his duties and trying to send us FALSE ALARM that these weird, offly timed weather is caused by global warming...OR NOT. He might still be sleeping and doesnt see that drooling over the season machine could cause some pretty, oh i dunno, unrighteous climate conditions!! One thing you know, there's heavy rainfalls in the summer while fall is not fall anymore but sumafall...pretty weird, i tell ya.

And you know what else is weird? Those seaguls and crows looming around the valley. I saw thousands around school, while some of the students try to shoo 'em away, covering their heads unexposed to anything...not even letting seaguls take the privelige blessed thee with white pooweegoodeerno. Right, we are sorta near the beach but that doesnt give any of those beachy creatures the right to take over classroom rooftops and pooping wherever they want. I would appreciate it if we are completely, and utterly near the shore front, but that is so not the case here. Our school is smacked in the middle of god knows what ghetto place it is and you still have to travel an hour or so to get to the beach. They must've traveled alot and they must go back to where they belong: Zuma, Sta. Monica, Venice, Sta. Barbara, San Diego, Long beach...those coastal places... They have to move back as soon as possible or Ms. Hamashi-- will have to call the seagul exterminator--she's trying to seduce (*impress) the vice-principal..creeps!

On the other hand, Cly-e looks spiffy with his hair all gelled down and my hormones, stupid hormones are starting to sent me a message again: you CANT have him. What is it with me and guys hairs? If my lust case is only in THE HAIR, i think i deserve to be tied down in a dungeon until i rot and realize that IM A VERY, BAD HUMAN BEING--OKAY, SHALLOW FOR THE MOST PART. I was so in to him today..NOOOOOO. He's my bestfriend, i cant have a thing for a BESTfriend. Maybe for a friend but for the dude as you all know, i considered 'my retarded', no can do. But we'll be both lucky if we are still friends 20 years from now, all grown up, all oh la la baby, he got muscles, i got the boobs!!! hahaha. Ignore my petulant, nasty, and NOT ME, joke.

And lastly, i got the SPECIAL attendance slip today and more like until i graduate..I have to go to school EVERYDAY, let my teachers sign it in and comment on my very naughty behavior then get a new one early in the morning. WOWOWEEWA. What a great motivation...i'll go-- im scared Mr. C will let me have detentions with my math teacher...which is not very good...EXPERIMENTAL SEMESTER: NOT DOING SOOO GOOD; MAKING ME FEEL SPECIAL SINCE NOVEMBER 27.





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From the look of my latest Old Guitar Player artwork, I can now picture myself as the next Ms. Picasso. I've sat in our living room for what seems to be 5 hours straight (i should totally be getting some kind of merit for it) and very proud that i managed to imitate Picasso's style, the colors and even added an Uncle Sam's hat and a "Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing an idiot" slogan in the guitar. I would take a picture but my 'wonderful' camera's still in its manufacturer and only be getting it back 8 or 9 days from now. I cant wait! I've suffered enough; there are times when i feel like taking a picture of something like some cute mannequin dude but i couldnt because well, my camera's nowhere to be found and i would cry and mope around all day because its like the biggest deal right now. LOL My camera is the love of my life, the cherry in my ice cream, the creme in my brule, you get the idea, ITS THAT IMPORTANT (i miss that old fart). Without photography, art, creme brule gelato, my friends, this dude (there's a dude involve now? ha.right.stupid.guys), I'D DIE, LITERALLY. (oh and lets throw in there "family" as well)

On the other hand, I just want to let all of you know, im changing my friends, routine, attitude, myself MY LIFE. Im sick of it. I need to have more control over things than the environment control me. My friends, well, i dont like any of 'em anymore, so i guess i need to find some new ones--useless pricks, i cant believe i've put up with their pushings, with their manipulations. Routine? Boring. I want an exciting one, unpredictable. Attitude? sickity sick sick, so shrink it is! Myself? Ugly, i could use a plastic surgery, bigger boobs wouldnt hurt. My life? chaotic in a way. So what do i have to do? CHANGE. Count on that. there'll be a new keeki the next year or sooner, tomorrow or the next week, you never know....JA-NAY-NAY IS HITTING TOWN SOON.

Your ex-lover,
Keeki

PS. I talk bout myself too much then again, its my blog soooo DUH. you think im serious about changing? I think i am on some parts but i still love my lovers and i cant just change them and get or buy new friends from a mexican dollar store or something (i dont think friendship comes cheap now-a-days. i think there's manipulation involve, no?). *Photo is yet again stolen from deviantart. i love that site.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {8:39 PM}

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Friday, November 24, 2006

My mom is once again, begging for me, and almost tried to bribe me just to go out, leave my hell hole for once during this thanksgiving break. I dont blame her because i understand where she's coming through with this weird quandary--when i stay at home, i'd light up our whole house, upstairs and downstairs (im afraid of the dark, STILL), listen to music in the computer and watch TV at the same time while i stay in the kitchen, experimenting with Pasta Italiano, completely wasting gas and electricity all-together if not almost, every night. Well, too bad, im not going anywhere this whole weekend because i've appropriately grounded myself for it; I actually need to work my ass out, catching up on school works, retouch 5 artworks, and well, the most important life-changing thing of 'em all, MY COLLEGE APPLICATIONS THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE BY THE 30TH (help?).

Its lame how i have to ground myself instead of my mom doing the parental job for me. The thing is, she doesnt believe in the grounding rules while she strongly agree in embarassing me, calling my teachers saying that their not supportive enough of my learning experience and the most notorious of all, trying to be friends with my friends (Ohmyghad!). So it is! I planned to stay in my room until i rot like a fruit figuring out how the hell i'm gonna finish all of my "late" works, read a whole book, and study for every classes on top of everything, within a very short amount of time. I just hate how the time keeps moving on faster than ever while I try to catch up my breath before i continue to do the work/s and go on. Where's the stop or easy button when i need it? ugh. (help?)

I guess i deserve to have this retarded weekend all planned out. I knew that my laziness would get me someday and that "someday" is actually this 4-days of break. If i wasnt lazy before, i wont have to sacrifice sleeping, hanging out with some potential long-lasting friends, and not doing anything even over schoolworks and I JUST DONT GET NOW, WHY I CHOSE LAZINESS ON TOP OF OTHER THINGS...i could of chosen rebel-ness, but laziness? I, stupid, indeed. Anyway, i hope that i finish everything i intended to do before sunday night or else i'll go ballistic and possibly end my unfair life forever. Or not. I'll merely live beneath a gloomy cloud of frustrations which will then justifies my growing-old-with-only-30-cats-to-keep-me-company nightmare. Thus, i must sit still, forget the outside world just this time and do the best i can do to break the karma given by my evil math teacher...I'LL PROVE THAT SKANK WRONG, or anyone who thinks imma fail life because im failing my senior year right now. Such great kindness youve shown me, I thankyoufluckinmuch.

Anyway, care to join me for an italian dinner? I manage to cook ribbon pasta and some phony alfredo sauce without the cheese a while ago and i must say, that i surprise myself everyday with my cooking, was not bad, not good, but believably italian-like. :-D

Here's my alfredo sauce recipe if you wanna know:
Butter
Heavy cream
minced garlic
chopped shrimps
dried parsley
soy milk (or any kind of milk)
salt & pepper (sugar)

Melt the butter. Add garlic then sauttee it until its golden brown. Afterwards, add the chopped shrimps until it turns pink-ish. Then the heavy cream. Stir. Add milk. Add dried parsley for aroma (its better if you have rosemary too). Then salt & pepper to taste. voila!

Oh god. I have to get my life back. LOL

Goodbye, farewell for now. I'll leave you silence and words unspoken, until i write again.
Keeki

P.S. have you notice my emoness and drama effects lately? Its due to lack of oxygen. ha-HA. right. How sad. I know what your gonna say, SUCK IT UP and so i will do just that for now but "things" will not end here. I still have many dog years ahead of me so either learn my cynical ways or go park in your corner and stay there. :-D I lust you all. (for my imaginary readers only)

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {9:43 PM}

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Gobble Gobble Day!!! Our family didnt even try anything this year, none with those turkey patties my mom bought the previous year, or mashed potato Mr. Mike like so much, nada, as in niet and im now here to believe its gonna be like that every year from now on. I dont have anything against my mom not prepping anything today for us to munch on and pretend like we're some big happy family, because after all, we're still (somehow) stuck under a Philippine rock: ITS EITHER, WE STILL DONT KNOW WHAT THANKSGIVING IS (isnt it self-explanatory?) OR THAT WE NEVER CELEBRATED IT BACK HOME AND KINDA AWKWARD FOR US TO CELEBRATE IT NOW.

Anyway, a kid from the place i've volunteered on today asked me "what are you thankful for?" Instead of giving her a Mother Teresa-like answer, i gave her silence, sighs, and "I'll be back" response. The kid cried after i left to get more punch & turkey plates. Because i am now shameful i've made a child cry during thanksgiving for no particular reason that i know of (was it my scary face? dont tell me i had on my halloween mask again), I have now the earnest to talk about everything im grateful for as precisely as i can, without a hint of sarcasm and bitterness. So here goes alot of somethings...
Despite the fact that i should be dead by now from all of my sick-holidays at school, I thanked god for my remaining life span and for people thinking that i live under an anorexic lifestyle. I also thank him and to anyone who have contributed to those sleepless nights i spent thinking, staring at nothing because it evolved me into some kind of a thinker...still shallow but a thinker nonetheless.

Im also grateful for the foundation behind "the" music, UK indie bands and their great lyrical songs for accompanying me through those lonely nights i spent behind books, papers, and schoolworks. Music and its creation made me into some free-spirit inclined-chick, giving me the chance to overcome loud silence, to not be afraid to be alone and also, the chance to annoy the shit out of my mom. Without it, i'll never enjoy getting loud, dirty, and "body movin".

In addition, i appreciate all of my friends putting up with my crap, bullshitness, and emo days through out this year. Regardless of how i could overly translate things sometimes, they're still here, keeping me sane and grounded. Im grateful for the personal friendships they have offered me, from one-on-one talks to the treats, free rides (erm), dirty thoughts, enjoyable times, I WOULD LOVE TO FUCK ALL OF YOU...eeer i mean, I FUCKIN LOVE ALL OF YOU.

Im also grateful for my mom and dad not always there when i needed them, for leaving me when i was three, for always working and trusting me with their houses. With it, i learned how to be independent as young as 13: i learned how to cook my own dinner, love shrimp de keeki, make my own coffee, went to kindergarten without them looking out for me, WOW, thinking about it now, I'VE BEEN PARTLY EMANCIPATED ALL THIS TIME--okay kinda but i had a lot of freedom more than i think i did.

Furthermore, I also thank art for adding zest and frustrations to my life...as if growing up aint painful enough, i came to discover art under pressurable pain. With art i learned to love picasso's kiddie! artworks, what impressionism is all about etc making me some kind of according to people "classy" yet unrefined. Art defines who i am, I'd cry for art for goodness sake and i thank it for being one of my passions.

Because im running out of time, I thank Sarah Dessen for her novels, keeko for being a lame fish,my school for failing me, alexander graham bell, activists, my math teacher for being a bitch, those everyday heroes,blogger for the ranting space, the evil ways of world wide web, Jack Johnson, The feeling, Carlos Mencia, MY FANS (lol) AND THANKSGIVING DAY FOR GIVING ME A REASON TO THANK EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING I COULD THINK OF. Without it, i'll never acknowledge these things now until maybe when i feel like it which is unlikely to happen. ha.

Would the kid been happy with all of these? Would she had been able to stick around to listen to my Oscar-like speech? She probably would have been then still probably cry afterwards for the the shallowest things im grateful for. Again, have a happy thanksgiving and hopefully you have better things to be thankful for than the things i mentioned.

Come again, never.
Keeki.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {9:04 PM}

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I was degrading my own asian race, the race where they only eat in moderation, where girls watches the content of what they eat and everything in between. Im sorry!!!! I eat too much today. If you must, decapitate me already, put me in jail or something for being the biggest pighead in the history of Ms. T's long timeline of class get-togethers aka periodic low class parteeys! If you want proof, i can show you a long list of one, ready? Mmkay.

"If you bring it, i'll eat it" list of food:
1. Sarah's garden salad. She brought every dressings there are and i, as always was whoring the italian balsamic vinegar one. It seemed healthy, okay, until i over-ate from eatting two bowls of overflowing greens!!! Im sure the meat-tarians are revolting by now; their "Do you know how many vegetables get killed for your salad?"campaign is getting great appeals from the majority of people all-together. So stop eatting IT IS! Starving equates to death while death equates to a fluctuation in population-- wouldnt that be great?

2. My own macaroni salad. Im still in awed on how fast my peers devoured every single elbow there was on that bowl. When i went to get some for myself, it was already half-empty and even managed to share what was left with Mia. I only ate 3 spoonful of servings or more but do you know how many calories and fat i've put in there last night? You dont wanna know, but i'll tell you anway: 8 spoons of deadly mayo & a half cup of milk. Who's fault? My fault, my recipe for future fatism backfired. boo. Lesson: Dont eat what you cook. :-P

3. Daniella's star-shaped chocolate cupcake. I've chosen the largest, the one with the most icing on top without thinking what the overall content was. I was decieved by its tasteful chocolatey goodness and i must say, it felt like i was in a salon getting a foot massage from surprise, surprise, the new CP football coach. If you havent seen him, you wouldnt know what i'm talking about. Now im regretting the feeling and eatting it for the most part. I've learned from princess D that her mom didnt use any kind of low-fat ingredient to make it. Destination: +5pounds.

4. 2 finger-lickin good fried chicken. It looked like any other fried chicken parts with 1 problem: i could just tell Albertsons did an evil job taking the initiative to drench the foul with dripping fateeer oil. I now sorta have a weak libido and must sue the whole company for doing that. Isnt that America all about? Challenging people who violate my rights? Who thinks fat is healthy for me? Yea sue anyone until you couldnt, now that's the american way. *big smile*

5. Heather's mashed potato. It was, as choo called it "alright" yet i enjoyed eating it bits by bits--the chunky, unmashed parts, fats, carbs, now im crabby. I should ask what kind of mashing utility she used.

6. Krispy treats from Clarissa. I only ate just one and im already flipping out? What the hell? No you see, its one plus those other dishes i've eatten. Oyvey.

7. Orchata from Ms. T. Mexican drink made from rice water, milk and cinnamon. The healthiest i've drink from today...not really, im still in it for my best pal, THE WATER.

As if all of those werent satisfying enough for me, i've let Clyde treat me to some burger...king. He didnt budge off when i told him i was full and went on treating me for some whooper (whopee!), fries and carbonated drink that burned my mouth like some kind of pepermint wash. When i got home, i found myself lurking around our cooler, eatting leftover chow mein (flip style) my wonderful mother cooked last night.

I believe i have a lot of lbs. to shed over these 4 days of vacation...i dont need to cuz i actually need all the fat but if i wanna keep my anorexic figure, i should totally try to have gag reflex now and take off everything from my system, cuz i dont wanna disappoint anyone now, do i? Nah, im fine the way i am. Im not some kind of pyscho chick who make such big deals over weight, hair, whatever self-conciousness other girls have. My point is, alot of girls tries so hard to get a perfect figure by starving themselves to death. They do not know that by not eatting, they're on their way to some kind of a disorder that might affect both their mind, how they think, and body, (what is the brain telling them not to eat).

Here's a tip: Eat whatever you want and dont let the brain get the better of you--or say, the mainstream television and magazines dictates how you should look like. Nobody's perfect so love what you got, either you have the more to love type or the skinny one, EAT and stop with the body insecurities. Keep indulging yourself on food...the earth is still big enough and if not, we'll make room for the gained lbs. ;-)

ukekeekee.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {9:48 PM}

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Tom Cruise NEEDS LARGER SHOE SOLES. When i was watching them on the news the other day, I couldnt help but point out that Mr. Tom looks awfully short besides her "lawfully" wedded wife. Yes, yes, he has been short all this time but to think that marrying the ever gorgeous Katie Holmes would make him look taller, NOT EVEN A CHANCE SO. Well, i think im the only person who's bothered by his height...the damage is done, however, and of course, they already have my permission to make good genetic babies. Oh well, another celeb crush gotten married. Who's next? Brandon Routh? Then my bestfriend, then some other dude and poof i'll be living alone across the street with 30 cats to keep me company. Story of my life, indeed.

While i didnt do much yesterday, im still not feeling rested. I hate womanhood, i hate bleeding, and i hate myself when i feel like everyone in the house is trying to sabotage my weekend by annoying the shit out of me. I dont mind them asking me where in the world im going to but them trying to lighten up the mood by let say joking about things "Ooooh she got a hot date" "ooooh whos this guy?" is seemingly getting annoying...oh nope, wrong, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ANNOYING since i cannot even remember. That's why most of the time, i just dont tell them where im going and who with because i just know, they'll make a big deal out of it like im getting married already. Oh baby.

Anyway, i got invited to some Tricia girl's birthday get together last night but because i didnt have any clean underwear besides those skimpy, skinny little ones, i got struck by a terrible cramp the whole day and still bleeding, I DIDNT GO. It would have been fun seeing all of David's crew on the left and Mia's on the right, probably a big arguement too but stupid course of nature would not let me watch how asians & blacks do it in one room...for once, man, just for once, i would like to see that but there's always a thing or two that will stop me from that entertaining scene. FYI, Mia is tricia's bestfriend who is David ex and both decided to invite their friends who, story of my life, have issues with one another. I still didnt get why Mia would invite David and why David would wanna go to his ex's friend birthday. Yet again, it would of been a trip having a food fight at Hometown Buffet. Oh darn well.

On some other current event, Manny Pacquio, some celebrated boxing champ back home won against that mexican contender whathisname. Wohoo!!! NOT. Story of my life. I'm not a boxing enthusiast and I THINK THAT SOME FILIPINOS ARE BEING UNREASONABLE BY TREATING HIM THE NEXT BIG-HERO. OH SURE, he fought for our country, there was blood clash involve and now must be vowed to his sovereignty...YEA FUCKIN RIGHT! One thing is for sure, his popularity will ease down in no time so enjoy it while you all can. Dont get me wrong, i dont hate him and on top of that i could careless about him but hearing that he'll probably run for president, he is taking over Philippines TV commercials and all that for a 'small-huge' boxing matches, its sardonic and absurd. Then again, what do i know? Im just a kid. pfft. Story of my life, indeed.

*Another pointless, bitterful post, I know. But bear with me for the time being. I'll get some insightful, cheesy stuff later on. Dont worry, i miss preaching as much as you do reading it. (right)

With all my lust.
Keeki

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {11:19 AM}

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Friday, November 17, 2006

As i've said a while ago, spilling my guts wasnt the bestest idea i've done so far. It brought me heavy drama on my part, crying myself a river, and even led some other people to believe im in deep dose of ecstasy. I havent been thinking straight the past few days; I thought telling people i like them would make up for the "un-nice" things i've done and give me my own free-pass to heaven later on...I dunno about that, maybe it did, a little bit, but instead of being unselfish about it, i wanted these people to give the L O V E back. As always, i didnt achieve it, mind you not. Instead, i got a pretty predictable reply: "what? Oh no!!!!!! Not you, AGAIN! No!!!!!!! I'm calling the police!! You stalker!!!!!" No kidding, promise; i made it a little bit exxagerated but its the same thing nonetheless as to, whenever i confess to Nick, or James, or Joe, they run like queers way away from me and make up excuses like "Im married" (huh?) or "My parents are racist. They dont like "girls" like you"(oh girls like me..HUH?) which if entirely not mistaken, morbid in a twisted life kind of way. I understand, my physical form is odd to some extent but even behind the weirdness rest uhm eeer some lame feelings that can easily be hurt by outside forces, so HAVE MERCY, WILL YOU?

Anyway, before i go on, before you go on assuming im such a very good gut spiller, I didnt tell many people i like them at all. I just told him (a person lol) that i do, he freaked out, I freaked out that he freaked out, i went gaga that we were both freakin out, and it took me 2 or another day to get over the overwhelming dillema. After that little charade, i decided not to go on with my STP (STOP THE PRENTENTIOUSNESS self-campaign). Apparently, when i go on revealing my inner feelings, bad things happen. I somehow seld-destruct, i bitch, and annoy others in a great amount of time (because i dont understand why you know, the lemon i've thrown is not being thrown back at me)--while they might enjoy some surprising, flattering words from your introverted kid truly, these people are not always ready that the kid who rarely expresses her feelings thru words is confessing some intimate ones. So why go on with it if it wont do me good? I'm just scared that if i tell my mom i love her she might say "Oh pls. dont, you'll find some other mom to love..." Quoting Borat's "wowoweewa!" XD Terrible thoughts, man. So THE ANSWER TO MY OWN QUESTION IS, TO BE PRETENDING ALL I WANT--IN CLEARER WORDS, KEEP THOSE FEELINGS TO YO SELF, NIGGA! (lol).

love,
keeki

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {8:39 PM}

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I feel like that night of my birthday when i thought I'm the least love kid in the world, regardless how lovin my friends were that day. I hate birthdays. I hate holidays. I hate feeling this. I say im okay but im still not. Would time heals me? I dont know. i feel so left out, i feel like packing my things again and beg my mom to send me home already... I thought i like it here but after 3 years of pretending that everything's just great, that i've already moved on with my life, that's when i WANT SOMEBODY, MY FAMILY, MY OLD FRIENDS, MY OLD ROOM, AND MY OWN "TIKI HOUSE" back. I'm a happy kid but i've been pretty much lonely for 3 days now. I dont like emo things, but just like the shallow happy kid that i am, i also cry easily. I WANNA GO HOME!!! I dont like it here, yea, everything's awesome, new room, new friends, new lifestyle but yet IM STILL LONELY. 2 years ago, i thought im not gonna be feeling nostalgic again...but LOOK! I'm wrong, i feel like that for so many times around, while the hot cocoa would not give me justice.


Keeki lies, keeki cries.
I dont think i deserve to be unhappy.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {8:10 PM}

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Monday, November 13, 2006

TODAY=FUN.LAUGHING.PISSED.DANCING.
SAD.CRYING.SCREW ONE THING, SCREW EVERYTHING.

why do i feel like crap? joy. oh joy.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {9:03 PM}

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Friday, November 10, 2006

DO NOT EVER ASK ME TO TAKE A PASSPORT PICTURE OR ANY KIND OF MUG SHOT FOR APPLICATIONS any time of day because most likely, i'll throw a tantrum like a little kid and would give you my horrible pouty face with matching angsty attitude. I did just that at Kinko's just a while ago; i was pissed that when i look like elephant shit and smelled like charcoaled burger, that's when my WONDERFUL MOM ask if i could pose for a passport photo already--apparently she had been waiting for me to go to Kinko's and accomplish that but just like the typical keeki, i procrastinated until now WHICH was KARMATIC IN A WAY: i have my wasted face on, reddish right eye from crying this morning (dramatist much?) and my hair was all sticky and unruly in a mother-with-5-little-youngins-way. I told them i didnt wanna take any pictures tonight but they insisted it because oooh they have ALOT of work to do tomorrow and they wont have any time for their 'daughter', YEAH RIGHT! So now Im stuck with a grueling face wherever i go (wow im whining about the picture and not myself? lol); even marker could not fix it yet alone put heavy make up on the passport print--and so i think LET IT BE...and dont worry about being stuck with a shcimfugly face. Its not like you'll be traveling with me my sweet STRANGERS. :-P Anyway, when the Kinko dude asked if i wanted to see my picture, i resisted. I cant bear looking at some shitty face when i have enough of those everyday since 17 years ago.

We went to Joanne's fabric store after that because Mike, who i think is MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND ALL THIS TIME needed some knitting stuff for his business..eeer no he applied there, cheapass. While i needed some dose of crafty things myself, i went inside with him and Ohmycookie! It felt like i was in heaven; the store is pack with colorful fabrics,variety of beads, and ooooooh christmas decorations which of course I FREAKIN LOVE TO LOOK AND TOUCH (weird thing #54). I was gonna buy some strechable string for beads making but...fine, i had the money but i am a cheapass myself just like the rest of my family and yes i feel bad that i have that genes. :-P I wanted to buy everyfuckingthing they have lamely because they were colorful and CUTE but i ended up buying a pack of gum (wow that's artsy), a bar of hershey's cookies 'n' cream that i'm done eatting (soo good!! givers, anyone? lol), and those scrapbook stickers since they were too awesome and where am i gonna need them? YOU TELL ME. XD (weird thing#23: i have a tendency to buy cute things i dont need)

Oh some good news for those good news seekers out there: I am applying to Mission Burrito University. I need some cash on me so instead of asking my WONDERFUL MOM all the time for moolah, i think its time for me to start earning money to buy SCRAPBOOK STICKERS. LOL I know it seems kinda weird that some asian filipina thrash would want to work IN AN ALL-MEXICAN WORK PLACE but whatever, IM CLASSY THAT WAY, i LOVE americanized mexican food and what could be best but me working on some mexican fastfood place. Am i right, or am i right? :-P I know 2 people (asians) who applied at Taco Bell before and they werent as welcomed as they expected them that they would so i'm a little worried i'll be doing the "dirty" job for them mexicans. That would be ironic isnt it? Anyway, if not in MB, i could work in Sierra's who, for some reason, is owned by the same person. Because im just a desperate kid, here's an Ad i put together:

Do you need a dependable person to help you in any way? I might be able to help!
I can do shit, shit, and have i mention any kind of shitschimzel? Call me at 111-1111 hotshot!
Or pass by my corner. I'll be the one wearing the skankiest outfit, mmmkay? *OH a scary mask too*

If your looking for someone, I THINK IM THE ONE!

LMFAO.

On the other hand, you should listen to Fat Boy Slim. I'm like going gaga over his techno music right now. If you're the kind of person who likes to dance, then his music is what you should listen to. His songs ranges from Kung-fu fighting remix to Praise you. If you like it, tell me and i'll do a techno dance with you, agree?

On the one hand, if your down, if no one ever flatters you, you should visit this site: http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html

I tried it, it didnt help but yea, its pretty funny in a very low manner. lol And yes, I CARE ABOUT ALL OF YOU. aint that dandy? *hugs*

Slash.dot.dash.
Keeki

P.S. another guy said hi to me and ignored him, i was flucking scared. what the fluck? are they blind or what? Twisted perceptions. gha. this kind of things never fail to amuse me in a way. LIKE I DONT GET IT, you know? WHY of all anyone, me?

P.S.S. the picture was taken before my camera started going cuckoo on me.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {9:03 PM}

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Because i wanted my peers to think i can be classy too without my glorious brown flipflops, i went to school today in an inch-high heels-slash-sandals. News Flash! News Flash! The girl who rarely puts on make up, who thinks can live with jeans and shirt went to school in pretty heels? Very shocking to the 100th power, right? Well, i did and there's nothing you can do about it now, thankyouverymuch. I blame anyone i know for not stopping me be that stick-figured kid dragging her heels at school today. For being the laughing figure and yes, i had fun tic tacking my shoes to pissed everybody off.

But after this, i think imma stick to flip flops forever. I'll go to work wearing flip flops, i'll keep the one, the very dependable one that i have now until i dread over it and buy another one, i'll marry the bum of my dreams in flip flops, and sure enough, i'll grow old in flip flops. I just cant handle creating tic tac noises and all the wonderful people's attention in me and my attempt to sexiness have failed me if not forever, still for many years to come. WHile im undergoing my latest art frustration, i decided to be frustrated to everything else now when its still early to be, when i still have time to change my frustration course into something the opposite of that. :-P Thus came, heels, hair,face, life, boys, and family frustrations into the picture. Living my 17th year seems like fun, aint it? YOU BETCHA.

Anyway, i've been thinking, if i cant handle heels, i must not get a job that requires me to wear heels, so i guess my dream of being ahem, "petite" model, a secretarial job on those very high class hotels, a hooker or even oh yeah, flight attendant is very out, in the very end of my career scenario which suckily sucks my rah rah spirit. I can just see my future and me sleeping in with the homies in the streets of los angeles wearing the same dirty looking flip flops and begging my used-to-be-peers for a glass of perrier bottled water (classiness sticks to you lol). Because of my beastly face then, not even grandpa would give me an hour of his day; i'll be that horrible looking (like im not now pssh) and will die from a street accident. Unless of course, i start being a better student, going with what my controlling teachers wants me to do, and practice wearing heels everyday, i'll still probably have a dimly-lighted future. (ahemDQ)

So there it is, even i have many frustrations right now, i still have a dream, a very blurred out dream but still a dream nonetheless. :-) I wanna be somebody who'll help out those bums in Los Angeles when i'm older not be one of them and i pretty much wanna be useful and not idle like how i pessimistically described my futuro. Although i cant ask myself to wear heels now or the next year everyfuckingday, I think wearing flip flops would not hurt me in any way, besides what else could i ask for when i get many attentions having my bum fashion everytime? Hrm no not really true but being conceited some times does not hurt as well. ;-)

Your drama princess.
-Keeki.

P.S. Dont worry. i'll wear 'heels' for just about anyone that deserves 'impressing'. lol and that might be you, or you and whoever YOU are. :-D its kinda comfy tho but for me who've rarely wear it, its awkward.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {3:36 PM}

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Monday, November 06, 2006

I just couldnt keep my mouth shout. I just have to profess to karen that i, keeki, have been crushing on that Bibek dude since that halloween program in the PL. So i didnt actually crushed on him right away; it was only last week when i saw him with a pretty shade of blue long sleeve on and looking mmm mm finnneeee and he said hi to me! OMG. big deal. whoo. I fell in my face and fall in lust, as always. When i told karen, she looked at me like im some kind of freak crushing on another 11TH GRADER but cant help it, i dont find guys my own age attractive..so its either young guys or much much older guys. lol I only told her because i saw him walking past by us, like in a hurry or something...a dork probably that he wants to get to class earlier than Jose. :-P The words "I find Bibek cute" was already in my tounge then, ready to be release and when i said it, i said it fast. lol Anyway, our conversation went on until we went back to her locker to get another book. When we got to the 3oo building, Karen was insisting i have a crush on him...i was in denial of course when i said i dont that i only find him "fine". But then i went on being the joker that i am, telling her that i wanna "bang him badly" so loud, the whole building probably must have heard it. Anyway, when we got in front of Ms. Carlos' class, we were both surprise to see Mr. Bibek walking behind us and karen enticingly said hi to him. I did too but it came out more like "Uh hm h i" stammeringly. I dont think i sounded like human at all...more like alien or baby talk goo goo gaa gaa! :-P Thanked god, Karen lamely saved me from another big humiliation by saying "oh ignore my friend she ate too much candy today" with a matching sarcastic laugh.

*i think he's indonesian. or malaysian. he look so young. man. :-/



Homecoming pic#23: i looked like i was about to cry. hahahaha. Blame it to robin. she like hug me then swept me off my feet (im that light lol) then i was laughing so hard. lol

nighty.
keeki.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {9:38 PM}

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I spent a great amount of time discussing with uncle Barry their new bought land in Spain last night. I must say, its 'bloody' awesome and with the house theyre building on the site, its even better. Theyre not bad people after all except on the part where they keep bugging me about my pilot friend. My mom probably have been telling them bout him which i could careless...their questions bothers me big time, that's all. But of course, i manage to...forget it. Not intended to be written here. hrm.

Anyway, theyre going to hawaii tomorrow and i'll miss their cheeky/funny attitude. well to be continued, AGAIN because uhm yea, education? heard of it? lol i'll go bore myself.

keeki -laughs- you.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {7:34 AM}

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Friday, November 03, 2006

Because im sick and ready to gag any minute, I might as well blog out my thoughts and give you people a piece of my hollow mind. I HATE SHOPPING, you heard that right I HATE SHOPPING. Again, I HATE SHOPPING. I dont get why a lot of people thinks shopping is the bestest hobby they could do. I went "homecoming" shopping with my wonderful mom yesterday and decided last night that'll never do it again with her. Is she like forming a conspiracy so that later on, when i have THE MONEY, i wont have to go shopping all the time? It was fine looking for a cocktail dress but later on, she started bitching on me and pressuring me that i have to go look for shoes and a top in 30 minutes because she have work to do at home, right, like tearing bill letters? (what's the shredder for? DOAH!) Well, I might as well join the shop-til-you-fuckin-drop marathon for that matter. Shopping & oohwie fun never occur to me through out my life, sadly enough. I'm always undecided, takes too long to find something, and even get tired from all of the walking, and shopping with my family is always a bumbed out feeling. I'd rather shop for food than clothes; I at least could eat "food" while clothes, eeer, i like clothes but me shopping for some is a big NO-NO. I'm overwhelmed by clothes, in general; i feel like i have a time constraint that i need to have this kind of dress to this kind of shoes in an hour or less which most of you or not know that i loathe that: pressure.

Anyway, i'm happy with my purchases but because my mom bitched me about it ("what else do you need huh? *in a mean tone* i answered: "well i told you mom, i'll pay you back and its not like you could cut my body parts to sell it to people," defensely.) i now vowed to get a fuckin job, preferably in the library near my prince uncharming, and because i've heard from his royalty truly that they pay him 12$ per hour. I've got so much owed money to pay her, i dont even know if i could in my lifetime. That is that, she's not my mother, she's just a woman letting me inside her home until i can get a job, move out and pay all the fucking little things she've provided me. Besides, what kind of mother asks her daughter if she wanna drop out school? even babboons dont ask that.

when i thought everything's fine, that's when "everything" is not.
-keeki

photo credited from deviantart.com

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {8:46 AM}

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Child pornography is sickening. 6 months old youngins are not called 'child', theyre more like you know BABIES! Your a sicko Teddy Shield (news this morning). sick sick sick, i tell you. argh. its just sick. sick. sick sick. sick. sick. sick. twisted. sick. sick sick sick sick sick. I DONT GET IT. why kids? corrupt. You must go to hell and all of the other sickos out there who fuckin kidnap kids as young as 6 months old and use them in pornography.

elaboration: later!!!!! I have to go get some education so that i'll have authority to stop this toddler bangers later on. And you do too, so that you wont end up just like 'em morons. sick. sick. sick.

Keeki eersick.

Blast that stereo, LOUD! {6:56 AM}