Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I woke up reluctantly in the sounds of 98.7 DJ's talking about how aweful Steve Irwin died. That was a great early morning pick me up, right? Oh yes, never heard of a better one. XP I took a shower with my half-closed eyes; the super hot shower was a relief, woke me up completely and even soothingly massaging. I did not go to school not until 7:40, after my mom and the working neighbors were gone. It felt weird, it was something in the lines of "a day" for school. I hate myself for not unlaching myself to summer but at the same time, i was excited to learn about the tricks politicians uses and be in my AP art class.
My friends and i havent changed one bit, maybe new clothes, new hairdo, other than that, we're still the crazy mafias who talks during reading time and call each other bitches. Our school, in many ways have changed though. The giant trees which offered us shades before the summer are all pruned, Dr. Thompson, our principal who we've loved dearly, who kissed bovines after testings, retired and now replace with an asian lady who banned cellphones during school hours and combined intro to art classes and drawing in two packed classes, and the empty grounds who used to be packed with seniors, with people I know are now lonely, those days, i missed. I roamed the school grounds with smile plastered in my face but deep within me is a missing piece, emptiness, old friends and routines i was used to perhaps.
As my senior friends graduated last year, i dont have anyone to wait for in the 600bld second floor, no more shouting "Moho" in the hallways, or dancing victory dances with Josh. We werent in any cliche group, Tencha, Josh, Lori, Julisa, Sam and I. We just hang out, sat on the floor and laugh on whatever was funny. Now, not only dont i have a locker but also no people accompanying me to get food, to my locker, to the restroom, I felt alone even with my other friends, its not the same without the people i've grown soo close to.
Is this one of those changes i have to face again? To alter myself to fit in? Yes, my friend was right, i dread change. I treat change as a big obstacle not as just "change". What would you do if just one day your family business (or something like that) bankcrupt? Would you be able to move on right away? No person could move on to any alterations in their lives as quick as a slide show is. We're created to mope around for a minute or two then some way or another, we'll start acclimatizing ourselves to the changes happening. I then draw the line that I do not dread change; it merely takes time for me to change along with the changes aka im a bit slow when altering my social life. (im always slow ha)
So, as this new school year (and the last of my high school career) approaches me with sad vibe, i will try to bring out something fun out of it. Yea, i'll missed my senior friends, but i still have the other great ones left. I just have to open up again, to be reconnected. Maybe what i was feeling was pre first-day-summer's-over-shocked. i dunno.
-here it goes again
keek
Blast that stereo, LOUD! {6:17 PM}
