Wednesday, December 06, 2006
I was a little crabby and way way off when i got home; our darn garage door downstairs wouldnt open again--i was pissed of everything, from those sickening cheerful rose flowers our neighbors grow, to the innocent squirrels running around and hiding for the most part, i just wanna damned them all. Apparently, I've found out, aside from other things, that fooking life will never be fair; like i told Kevin, i might turn suicidal if i dont get in any universities i applied to and or that if my art teacher continues to sermon me regarding my artworks when he himself let Noellooo or Ana get away from not turning couple of their artworks on time, today. How unfair is it that when i've stayed up all night, busting my ass of on some collage thinking that i will disappoint his stinky ass, he let the others get away with their lame-0 alibis? I need a venti mocha-iced and lotsa chocolate to fatten my ass, indeed.
THEN...just like magic, Goldfrapp, The rocket summer, snow patrol came and i was fairly fine just like that--one song and it made me all better like nothing sucky ever happened to me today. I like how music has been always there to ease my burden, to use as a shield from silence and my mom's smack-muttering and how it could turn my long face, into a happy one. Silence is not a pretty thing--it is loud and only capable of telling everything between an inanimate object and or a living person.Yesterday, along with the tick-tocking of the clock, i've heard more than i needed to hear. My mom's remorsed of me, kitchen utensils clanging, burst of laughter on TV...they were all-together loudest and i just wanna get away...i wanna go some place else...i wanna mute my life and i only accomplished that by putting earphones in my ears and cranking the volume up and JUST LIKE THAT, i was somewhere away from reality.
I was mad last night due to the fact that i dont remember bitching on my mom yet she still bitches on me. I didnt say anything and will currently not going to until i feel like it again. I hate how she goes on and on doing it when i only did my project, stayed quite the whole time, feeling like im gonna burst like a bubble any minute. From some first time in years, i managed to have self-control, self assurance that maybe, just maybe, if i dont say anything and ignore her, she'll just gonna stop. She didnt stop, however...my silence disturbed her even more and whined how i never answer anymore. What? When i say something she gets mad, when i dont, she gets madder. I JUST DONT GET IT...add peruvian coffee with that and i probably will.
I learned one thing though: I need more than 4 hrs. of sleep...maybe 10 or more of dreaming, and probably even drooling..that will save me from bitching and will save you people from hearing and reading stuffs like these.
P.S. music absolutely can save my mortal soul. <3
Blast that stereo, LOUD! {3:30 PM}
