Sunday, January 21, 2007
Unfortunately to anyone who have been looking forward to some cynical post, my mind's still crippled. I already asked my mom if she could check me in to a mental hospital but she said its too expensive so i'm living in a big dog house for now, sleeping uncomfortable, one leg chained down the ground. The hard thing about a MAK (mentally awkward kid) is that, nobody wants you anymore after being diagnosed of having one. The friends who i thought got my back, back down and didnt even bother to comfort me. Although i still could write, i am having trouble thinking and even understanding the basics. I'm just scared i'll be cutting my ear next. Would that make me iconic like Van gogh? I should be original though, maybe cutting one arm or something which by the way is bugging the eff out of me. I mean when i thought i dont get fat, that's when i find parts of my body that jiggles. Like my arms, my thighs, legs, trust me, its looking fairly disgusting.
On the other hand, school has been really fun the past week. Karein's greenies club is going almost smoothly except for the fact that she can be completely bossy most days. People, man. You give them some power and they go on abusing it and pushing for more. Not that she's a complete power whore but it can be annoying sometimes. We've mostly distributed recycling boxes and put up large posters all over school, but i feel like we're truly moving into better and greater things. As for my classes, let just say im good at bullshitting things. I had to talk to a large group for my govt. class last week and it didnt go too well. I managed to say things that will never interest those smart scumbags who stare and make me a little uncomfortable. Trust me, i LOVE talking but when i have to discuss politics, george bush's ass, and polling, i just go blank and accidentally say things like "Yea" for an added opinion or stammer the rest of the period. It doesnt help that my heart throbs like crazy and my palms sweats either. I might need a big box of twix the rest of the semester now. I dont think our "meaningful" discussions will stop anytime soon. Pls. help me god?
I got three bus route informations in front of me. Im thinking of doing some travelling around San Fernando valley. I hate how i rely on people to offer me an adventure. Now that i feel older, i might as well take advantage of it and be independent. I've done it last saturday, been walking around my neighborhood, drinking coffee that makes me look some kind of prima donna bitch, I notice there are actually a lot of photography material that i didnt bother looking before: @ 5, there's a naked guy changing across the street, a little italian coffee shop along Sherman way, seriously, you just have to look beyond the suburban/ghetto-like setting and make something out of 'em. Because i am yet again inspired, i borrowed a photography book from the library and maybe one of this days, I could catch a thought-provoking image.
Anyway, speaking of "travelling", im also reading a Tuscany book my spanish teacher let me borrow last year. When i was in 10th grade and ambitious, i decided to back-pack europe after high school . Although it doesnt look promising now, i'd still want to do it someday. The place looks enchanting, friendly, and down-to-earth. I'm mc-dreamy, i go gaga over anything Italian so yes, I'll be there someday, amidst of a piazza, drinking coffee, thinking I've done it. WOuld it hurt me to dream?
-keekee
P.S. Sushi ginger's good. Oh im happy my mom bought an instant mocha powder from Costco. I've been craving for some for months. Damn Krispy Kreme shut down in front of my school for an In-n-out chain which is just ridiculous cuz i got me the worst sweet "teeth" ever so now i cant get me commercialize donut or mocha-iced. I have to go down this vietnamese place my little friend's family own just to get some eclaire. Vienna=<3.
Blast that stereo, LOUD! {8:37 PM}
