Thursday, March 01, 2007
I still feel guilty. I didnt know what have happened to our relationship. He died mysteriously without even me knowing how or why. He was an awesome companion. He didn't say much but he was always there watching my every move--he was my own Big Brother. He failed to say much yet i knew for certain, he meant well watching me in his tiny world. He might've had asked for more attention though, as always, i failed to give it to him. I am owning up to his death; I admit it was my fault why he died but i do not think he'd rise from wherever he is now and come back. I wish to take a moment of silence and reminisce the wonderful memories I had with him *silence*
Keeko
2006-2007
"He was such a fish, always."
You're in a better, un-crammed place now. Go and swim all you want.
+++
2006-2007
"He was such a fish, always."
You're in a better, un-crammed place now. Go and swim all you want.
+++
Yes, my fish died. How? I still do not know. I found him immovable yesterday morning. Just the thought of losing someone/something scares the bajeegers out of me. He was literally always there, like a wallflower, he was only good to look at. I actually didnt know how to let him go; i thought of flushing him down the toilet though i'd guess, i would degrade him in a fishy kind of way. Digging him a grave? Uhm, we dont have a large backyard...no erase that, WE DONT HAVE A BACKYARD or even dirt in general, and so then, last night, i just gave up and planned on figuring things out today but when i wake up this morning, he was gone while his bowl was moved downstairs to our kitchen table. I thought of bringing up the subject to my mom at breakfast today but the thought that she'll give me one of those "you are so irresponsible Keekee D." was not even worth asking for. It was weird how my mom talked "sugary" and too nicey-nicey, however. She was acting fishy than the usual awkward silence we always have every morning. Would it be possible that she killed my Keeko? I doubt its even possible to murder such a tiny animal but it does not matter now. He's dead, he's out somewhere and he's not coming back. I just hope he would not hunt me in my sleep. Shall i get myself an actual puppy (a chihuahua perhaps), next? Argh. I don't think i'll be a good soccer mommy. I'm so irresponsible. :(
+++
Seriously, the mall is flat out boring. I didnt expect i'd spent another tuesday afternoon there but it so happen that i did--although i'm not regretting the time i spent with my pals, I still dont get how so many people think going to the mall, in general, is funfuckingtastic.
Me: "Oh what did you do today?"
Another individual: "I went to the mall. It was soooo cool. I got me a couch bag, and this that blah blah yadda yadda pants dolce and banana? gabana? what is it? i got me this abercrombie and finch? bitch? what? anyway..there's this dude yadda omg..seriousll..blah blah *gosh, stfu*"
Me: "Really? Humkay. I gottta go. see you around."
Same person: "But i'm not done yet, wait."
Me: *run like a queer*
Sure but i've never been a fan of shopping. I like to do it once or twice but whoring every branded stores out there aint my thing. Maybe its fun if you got the moolah to spend but other than that, what's the mall good for anyway? Good thing was, there werent a lot of people that day so we OWNED every sitting areas and the stores, they were all empty--none with those gucci owning bitches who thinks they're better than you, fags and their aviator glasses..nada and so we had fun verbally discussing dresses and eatting chocolate covered espresso beans that got me hypered for 2 days.
The only reasons i go anyways for the:
-Chinese fastfood. I crave it every week. Panda's not the best chinese food out there but is alright and eattable nonetheless.
-Gelato-Creme brule, all mine.
-Coffee, espresso beans. Better than any anti-anxiety (?) pill out there. I was literally dancing and shaking Tuesday night. FUN.
-To veg in the upper-Nordstrom lounge and watch people pass by, snickering, imitating old bitches walk and of course, to admire to nonsensical humongous artworks they've put.
-To admire high-priced clothes that i'll never be able to buy. Something in the lines of 500$/dolce my ass jeans ding ding ding ding.
-To ride the elevators and escalators. ha. (say childish and i'll yanky-doodle you :-D)
-There's always those big posters with almost naked guys to drool over. haha
and then some. (i got lazy..lol)
Me: "Oh what did you do today?"
Another individual: "I went to the mall. It was soooo cool. I got me a couch bag, and this that blah blah yadda yadda pants dolce and banana? gabana? what is it? i got me this abercrombie and finch? bitch? what? anyway..there's this dude yadda omg..seriousll..blah blah *gosh, stfu*"
Me: "Really? Humkay. I gottta go. see you around."
Same person: "But i'm not done yet, wait."
Me: *run like a queer*
Sure but i've never been a fan of shopping. I like to do it once or twice but whoring every branded stores out there aint my thing. Maybe its fun if you got the moolah to spend but other than that, what's the mall good for anyway? Good thing was, there werent a lot of people that day so we OWNED every sitting areas and the stores, they were all empty--none with those gucci owning bitches who thinks they're better than you, fags and their aviator glasses..nada and so we had fun verbally discussing dresses and eatting chocolate covered espresso beans that got me hypered for 2 days.
The only reasons i go anyways for the:
-Chinese fastfood. I crave it every week. Panda's not the best chinese food out there but is alright and eattable nonetheless.
-Gelato-Creme brule, all mine.
-Coffee, espresso beans. Better than any anti-anxiety (?) pill out there. I was literally dancing and shaking Tuesday night. FUN.
-To veg in the upper-Nordstrom lounge and watch people pass by, snickering, imitating old bitches walk and of course, to admire to nonsensical humongous artworks they've put.
-To admire high-priced clothes that i'll never be able to buy. Something in the lines of 500$/dolce my ass jeans ding ding ding ding.
-To ride the elevators and escalators. ha. (say childish and i'll yanky-doodle you :-D)
-There's always those big posters with almost naked guys to drool over. haha
and then some. (i got lazy..lol)
+++
And because i notice, if i'll ever get to be a famous writer/artist/chef i'd need an autobio, i wrote one. Here's the last paragraph. If you wanna read about my life, just buy my book 20 years from now. haha.
"All of my wonderful and not-so great experiences, the dramas that altered me, the people i've met through out the years, the new things i've discovered, they all sculpted and painted me into the person that i am today. I am[i nsert my name here], an AA--artistic anonymous, and then some."
Labels: lets get personal, shall we?
Blast that stereo, LOUD! {4:28 PM}
